Recently a reviewer left a kind rating and a review which included an honest disagreement with something said in a previous episode. I appreciated their honestly and class, and wanted to address their statements, and share with you the importance of growing as a dad. If we are growing, we should be learning. If we are learning, we will admit that there were things we believed or did early on in our parenting, that we have discovered were mistakes. Have you ever had an experience like that? Think I am crazy? Take a listen and then join the discussion on facebook.com/howtobeadadtoday
After a long break, the podcast is back with a brand new episode!
Have you ever felt that you could be a better Dad if you just had more time? Have you ever felt the pressure of investing in your kids when your schedule keeps you away the majority of the time?
I hear you. I feel the same way. This episode is designed to offer you hope and encouragement. I’d love to have you share this with someone else, and leave a comment and let me know your thoughts, as well as any advice on the topic you might have.
You know, sometimes we as Dads can make it kind of tough on our kids. I rarely quote Scripture on this blog, but I want to go ahead and share a verse with you that I think everyone can understand.
Ephesians 6:4a “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath…” (KJV)
What does that mean? Well, there may be many applications, but for the purpose of this article, it is talking about not behaving in a way that drives our kids to anger and wrath. It means not deliberately doing things that make their obedience or submission harder than they already are.
Do you wonder what type of things those are? Here are some for you to consider:
Provocation Through Injustice
Nothing angers children any more quickly than injustice. As a Dad, I must try to treat my children in a fair and equitable way. They can spot “special” treatment a mile away.
Now, this is especially difficult for me when it comes to the difference between daughters and sons. I have a much harder time holding my daughter to the same standard that I hold my sons to. Don’t think for a moment that the boys don’t pick up on that.
I have to work extra hard to ensure that my boys don’t see injustice in the way I treat each of them.
Provocation Through Overreaction
Our response must fit the situation . Sometimes we want to launch right through the kitchen ceiling, when all that is necessary is a simple word of correction.
When we are tire, stressed, or just frustrated, we must be extra careful to guard our reaction to their childish antics. If they are disobedient, or disrespectful, then deal with it appropriately. If they smack their brother, then stop them. However, a measured, equal response will be received far better than flying off the handle at each infraction.
I remember dealing with a teenager who was so angry at his father because no matter what he did, his dad would just start yelling and screaming at him. The kid was sick of it, and he hated his father for it. Don’t go there Dad.
Let me explain. Sometimes we can pick at our kids, or push them to the breaking point. When they get there, they react, only to have us remind them that we are their father and they must not speak to us disrespectfully.
This can be quick angering to a young man. They should respect you. That is true. However, you and I should make sure that we are respecting them as an individual and not provoking them to the point of explosion, only to play the “authority” card.
We can’t pick on them constantly and expect them to take it. We can’t be disrespectful to them, and expect them to respect us. We need to show to them the same level of respect and love that we expect from them.
Just think about it. Are we making it as easy as possible for our children to respect and obey us? Let me know what you think?
*Photo By Alex (Flickr: ) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons